Five Stolen Things
by Uncle Charlie
Summary: The Scooby gang is snatched from their time to be shot back to New York City, circa 1966... and, oh, is that a Hellmouth opening up under UNCLE HQ? This is a sort of sequel to "Cage without a Key"


Five Stolen things

To Avery

The Hellmouth under UNCLE HQ opens, and Buffy and the gang are called in to de-demonize the joint.

Buffy swung her fist and connected with something. She hoped it was something vital, but it was hard to tell. This demon was all scales, tentacles and things.

"Grab its tail," Spike yelled. He had a modified chokehold on Pyegath Demon.

Normally Buffy wouldn't listen to Spike. After all, he was a vampire and she still didn't really trust him. "Got it!"

The demon yowled and Spike smirked. "Not his tail, luv."

Buffy's cheeks flamed and she applied more pressure. "Good, then it will do more damage when I crush it."

"Guess that will give 'getting a piece of tail' a whole new meaning." Xander came in swinging, only to be knocked backwards as the demon snatched up Willow and threw her at him. They landed in a heap close to where Giles was crouching, book open, and chanting.

"Anytime now, Bookman," Spike yelled.

Xander grunted as Willow climbed off him. "Don't interrupt the spell, Spike. Concentration is everything, isn't it, Giles."

The man looked at her over the top of his wire spectacles. "Yes, quite."

The air was crackling around them and Buffy felt both energized and exhausted. It was time to end this.

There was a sharp pop, a flash of light and the night went from pitch black to fluorescent white. Blinded, Buffy shut her eyes and let her other slayer senses take over. Her knees buckled and a wave of dizziness sent her down. Groans from the others told her they were in the same boat.

The Pyegath demon stared to fade and Buffy surged back to life.

Only to look around an empty room. There were several file cabinets lining the walls and an ancient chalkboard with various messages written on it. None of them made sense to her.

Looking around, she saw that Xander, Willow, Spike and Giles were slowly getting to their feet.

"Giles, what happened?"

"I used a relocator spell to send the demon back to its origins. It must have come from somewhere around here."

Buffy glanced around at her surroundings again and sighed. "But where is here, Giles?" Then she pointed to the chalkboard. "And what is THRUSH?"

Napoleon glanced over at Illya, who was hiding behind his dark glasses and doodling all over his copy of the agenda. There was something happening in HQ and no one seemed to really know what to do about it.

Rooms were broken into, but aside from a mess, nothing was taken. There was a viscous substance over everything and someone coined the phrase 'The Slug from UNCLE' to describe it. Waverly was angry and frustrated. Not a good combination when you are his right - and left – hand men. The Section meeting was going on and on, offering great theories, but nothing they could work with. He hated to say it, but they weren't any closer to answers than when they'd started the meeting two hours earlier.

"I will do anything for a break," he whispered to Illya and the blond head nodded.

A shrill cacophony of alarms split the air and one agent nearly fell out of his chair.

"Looks like you got your wish." Illya was on his feet and headed for the nearby speaker. "What's wrong?"

"Intruder alert in basement file storage."

"We have a basement file storage?" Napoleon asked the man beside him, who shrugged.

"I guess we must."

Illya scowled at both of them and toggled the response switch. "We're on our way. Cancel the alarm."

"Well, this is a pile of 'whopee' all rolled into nothing." Xander shut the drawer of the file cabinet. "All I get out of these files is that someone is big into the word 'affair.'"

"So, if this is where the Pyecath Demon came from, where is he, Giles?"

"I don't know." The man was polishing his glasses. "It could be that we are close by or we may have preceded him…"

"Or?" Buffy grabbed onto the word as it hung in the air.

"The spell went wrong," Spike snapped. "That's what he's afraid of saying, luv. There's always a price with magic. Always."

"What would you know about that, Spike?"

"Hello? Vampire? Paying the ultimate price here."

The door which they couldn't get to budge suddenly slid open and Buffy took up the attack position in front of the group. After a brief second, Spike was at her side, his face just as determined as hers.

Two men in suits entered, weapons drawn.

"Hold it right there!" The lead guy, a blond-haired guy, cute if you like old men, pointed his pistol at her.

"Oh, please," Buffy scoffed. "It's only people, guys."

"I am going to have to ask you to produce some identification." The second man, dark haired and with an air of authority, was polite but firm.

"In these pants?" They were Buffy's favorite jeans, but they were a bit tighter than the others. "Do you see any pockets in these?"

The two men were joined by others. "What are you doing here?"

"Not a clue. One minute we were in downtown Sunnydale and now we're here."

"Sunnydale?"

"California." Buffy looked from one to the other. "You have heard of California? Giles, you want to jump in here any time, it will be fine by me."

"Gentlemen, perhaps we might inquire as to our location?"

"You are inside UNCLE HQ and in probably one of the most secure rooms in the building, hence our interest as to how you came to be here. People don't just appear."

"He don't know us very good, do he?" Xander murmured and Willow bit back a giggle.

Giles scowled at them. "My name is Rupert Giles and I'm not sure how to explain this…"

"Hold on, Watcher," Spike interrupted and he took a deep breath. He looked at the door just as an old man appeared in it. "Alexander Waverly!"

"William!" Waverly laughed and pushed past his men to embrace the vampire. "Still cold, I see."

"Warmer than you'd ever know." Spike tossed a look in Buffy's direction and Waverly nodded.

"What are you doing here, son?"

"We'd like to know that ourselves," Buffy admitted. The floor of the room trembled and abruptly the wall fell away, exposed a fiery cavern. She took a deep breath. "But I think we just got our answer."

The dark haired guy pulled something that looked like a pen from his pocket. "Open Channel A. We have a Class One Emergency. Standby to evacuate." He glanced over them and nodded. "We'll have someone escort you to a secure spot."

"I really think I should handle this," Buffy said, politely but firm.

"We have this." He sidestepped as a pair of men charged forward with ancient fire extinguishers. They climbed over the rubble and abruptly both men flew backwards into the room to lay in crumpled heaps.

"What the…" Blondie trailed off as the Pyegath demon stepped into view.

"And do you have that, too?" Buffy asked, smiling. The demon snarled and she grew serious. "Giles, get everyone out of here. Spike, you grab the left… um… whatever it is. Xander, Willow, I need a weapon."

Both teens looked around and Xander grabbed the now discarded fire extinguisher and tossed it to her.

"That could work."

Napoleon rubbed his forehead, trying to ease the headache that was zinging from one temple to the other. "What year?"

"2008?" Willow answered, hopeful. "The relocator spell went a little kablooey."

"I suspect it was the Mummy's Hand." Giles paused in the cleaning of his glasses. "I should have been more suspicious about their rates. I'll have to send the shipment back now."

"Spoken like a true shopkeeper," Spike snapped. "How are we gonna get home, Watcher?"

"I think that is rather the question of the day, Spike," Gilles muttered. He put his glasses on and adopted a sour expression. "I haven't a clue. Why? Are you in a hurry?"

"I still got some shopping to do, yeah," he admitted quietly, glancing quickly at Buffy and then down at the carpet.

"But we got here because of the Hellmouth?" Buffy was wearing one of Illya's gym shirts and his workout pants and was swimming in them. She'd tied a bottom edge of the shirt into a knot and Napoleon had to admit she looked very _haute couture_. It was a shame she was so young.

"When this opening was about to breach, it must have acted like some sort of Star Trekkie kinda transporter beam and brought us there to..." Willow stopped in midsentence. "Too much?"

"Give it up, Will." Xander, the young man, was resting his arms and head on the table.

"Napoleon, does anything o this make sense to you?" Illya murmured as he sat down beside his partner.

Napoleon shook his head in return. "Not for the last three hours. That creature…"

"Pyegath demon, drawn to sources of great power. It was probably attracted by a recent opening of a power plant or some other source," Giles answered quietly.

"The lighting of the tree in the plaza?" Illya suggested. "Even the lights in here dim when they throw the switch." He looked appraisingly at Buffy. "But how did you kill it?"

"Well, Spike helped a little."

"A lot," Spike interrupted.

"A lot. I doused it in foam and then Spike broke its neck… it was the neck, wasn't it?"

"Close enough." Spike took a cigarette from a pack and put it in his mouth. He patted his pockets and swore. "Bullocks, I've lost my lighter."

"Here, use mine." Waverly leaned forward and held it out.

"Ta, Alexander." Spike happily puffed away. "Question still remains, now what, Watcher?"

"Why do you call him that?" Napoleon asked, looking from one Brit to the other.

"That's what he does. That's what he is. Buffy is a vampire slayer and he trains her and watches over her." Giles looked as if he was going to explode. "What? It ain't exactly a secret."

"There is no such thing as vampires," Illya snapped.

Spike turned to him, game face on. "Wanna bet?" Illya's mouth dropped open.

Buffy moaned. "Men! Spike, put it away or I will stake you, I swear, I will."

"Yeah, yeah, sing a new one, Slayer." Spike gave his head a shake and his normal face reappeared. He returned his attention to Waverly. "Sorry I couldn't tell you a bit easier, Alexander."

"It does explain a great many things." Waverly seemed to take everything in stride. "Mr. Giles?"

"Sir?"

"Am I correct in assuming that with the proper equipment, you would be able to replicate the experiment and return your group to its proper time?"

"That's the theory," Buffy muttered and Willow giggled, then sobered.

"Sorry."

"Yes."

"Then, gentlemen, give them what they need." He puffed for a moment. "After all, you saved us a great deal of time and energy this evening. It is the least we can do."

"I don't believe this night," Buffy said as she walked wearily home. "I've always wanted to visit New York, but not exactly like that." A few flakes drifted down from the sky. "Oh, look, snow!"

"Oh, goody." Spike wiped the snow from the shoulders of his leather jacket.

"Thanks for your help, Spike."

"Don't mention it. It was good to see Alexander again."

"You'll have to tell us the story someday."

"Yeah, someday. Sleep well, Slayer." Spike gave them a wave as he broke off to head for his crypt.

"Who's up for some hot chocolate?" Giles asked. "After all that we've been through tonight, I think we all deserve a little pampering."

"With tiny marshmallows?" Xander was all attention.

"With tiny marshmallows."

"I'm in. If I go home, I just have to study for my history final."

"You haven't done that yet?" Willow was shocked.

"I'm up to Prussian War."

"Buffy, we just finished the chapter on Korea."

"So I'm a little behind. Tis the season for it."


End file.
